There was a point where I lived just three miles from an airport. This was a few months after 9/11 and the color coded daily terror alert level was consistently reminding me exactly how few minutes I had before certain death(it was usually seven). It was at this point that I declared my property line a No Fly Zone. While other Americans let their houses act as sitting ducks for an air attack, I prevented my house from being a target.

Surprisingly, I had not one breach during the entire 2 year No Fly Zone policy I had placed upon my property line. I will admit, there were some close calls. For instance, there was this one time where I was crossing the street to collect my mail, and wouldn’t you know it, a jet made a dash for my No Fly Zone. I ran to my battle station and fired some warning flares. Later, the pilot came to my house and apologized by sticking a gun in my mouth and telling me how tough I was at that very moment.

Everyone wins when we’re all scared for our lives

Original Post: February 18, 2006